MY SPACE!!!!!

I want "MY SPACE", my "OWN SPACE"! Having spend my 30 years been controlled on things like what time to sleep, behaviour properly, totally no own space to do what I want to do even to house my own computer, having to share room with my mum. I HAD ENOUGH!!!! ENOUGH!!! I'm not going to spend my married life having to share MY SPACE, MY OWN SPACE with another other people!!! Except MYSELF!!!! I want to throw the dish at the sink and wash it as and when I WANTED TO! I want to throw my laundry and wash it as and when I WANTED TO!!! I don't want to do them because I HAD TO! I want my OWN KITCHEN!!! and mess it up, burn my food, cut my own finger, without having people to come and NAG AT ME!!! This should be the way to cook you food, cut your food! I want to sleep as and when I wanted to! without people nagging me to go to bed, nagging me to come back home and sleep! I have enough of people controlling me to do what they want me to do, I WANT TO DO IT AS AND WHEN I WANTED TO! and not BECAUSE I HAVE TO!!!

I had enough of people nagging me to get a FULL TIME JOB! FUCK CARE!!!!! and please don't think that you all know me and keep saying that I do not change, do not how to think and plan!~!~ for my fucking future!!!!!!! FUCK CARE!!! If getting married is so going to be pain in the ass!!! FUCK THE wedding! If getting a FULL TIME JOB is just to pay for my house, pay for my wedding! FUCK IT!!! I rather earn enough to feed myself than care about others! But the end of the day, all will just died. I rather died without regards that I'm working on something that I like rather than I'm working because I need to pay for my house!!!!! why should I be unhappy in what I work because I have to work in order to get money for my house!!! what do I get in return? Prehaps I will die suddenly just like Dar dar! Who knows? I don't know, you all also don't know.

I'm pressuring you about house and wedding!???!!! I have enough of nagging from my mum!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! You want time, I GIVE YOU TIME! I'm playing GAME with you!!!??? that's what you question me! That's it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have enough of everyone of you!!!! Get the HELL OUT OF MY SPACE!!!!!

I realize this is not the first time I get so MAD ABOUT GETTING MARRIED, the HOUSE and YOU!!! I'm starting to find it a pain in the ASS!!!!

I'm going to stay away from everyone LATER!!! I WANT MY ME!!!!! TIME!!!!!!

I miss you, Dar Dar

Today marks the saddest day of my life... I lost one of my best friend, dar dar.... he has been my friend since secondary one... He had been with me all my break-ups, always there to cheer me up every time with his goofy jokes... I remember the time that he, ck & TJ played chess together at the study area during recee. We will all slip our recee time and just snacking on chocolate.... I remember his first time dating with B and his break up with her. He was crying his heart out... till my heart ache for him... I remember the first time he got his bike and he come and give me a ride around. I remember the stunt we had, when I tried to get the cashcard from the bike bag while he speed down the road. I remember the time we got bash up at clark quay, I drag him away from the fight and jump into the cab. He woke up the next day with a bruise in his eye and me with bruises and aches all over my hands & arms. Those where the memories... those were the days... and only dar dar remember... and now he has taken away forever....

Today, I won't be receiving his Christmas Greeting.... never again I will hear his voice... when was the last time I chat with him... when was the last time I hear his laughter.... I miss him... I don't need you to go find santa... nor christ...I need you to be here with everyone here today on this Christmas day....

You will be miss... every year on this day... you will be miss by everyone who love you... I will miss you.... you have took part of me away and part of me will be lost when you leave me.... LORD will take care of you... although I question him why he took you away... but neither do I can stop him.... I miss you and love you forever as my dear dear friend. May you rest in peace, dar dar...